Creating Opportunities

Some children need encouragement and reasons to talk. It is important to make communicating motivating for your child by creating opportunities. Here are some ways you can help your child:

• Offering Choices

  This is a good way to encourage your child to say new words without them feeling as if they are performing for you. Offer simple choices, using real objects and saying the words as you show them the options. For example, hold up a bubble blower and a ball and ask which they want. Wait for them to request one. If they simply reach for the one they want, you can say: "You want bubbles."

• Wait for your child to respond

  If your child needs help with something, wait until they let you know - they might do this by looking at you, handing an object to you, making a sound or gesture, or trying to say a word. Once they have done this, give them the words they need to know. For example, if they try to open a drawer that is stuck, wait for a few seconds until they look to you for help and then say "open".

  In games that require your help, such as blowing up a balloon and letting it go, wait before you let it go to see if your child will show "go" - they may make a gesture or sound or say the word.

  Don't automatically turn on or fix things for your child, so that they learn to ask you by using words, gestures or signs.

• Encourage them to ask for more

  Give items a small amount at a time. For example, only give a small piece of biscuit or a small amount of juice in their cup. Say the word or the sign for "more" or "biscuit" or "drink" and encourage your child to copy if they would like some.

  This can also be done with toys during play time.

• Miss items out

  Give them all but one of the items needed for an activity they enjoy, so that they will need to tell you in some way that something is missing. For example, give them a paintbrush and paper but no paint, when brushing teeth hide the toothpaste or at bath time hide the plug.

• Do the unexpected

  When following a familiar routine, do something silly or unexpected and see what reaction you get. For example, brush their hair with a spoon or roll a ball to them a few times and then roll a different toy to them when they are expecting the ball.

  Pause and see if they respond. If not, say: "Uh-oh, silly me! What do I need to do?"

• Rearrange the environment

  If your child can reach everything they need, try putting things away or up on a high shelf so they need to ask for them. For example, place their snack or toy in a clear container that they can't open and then wait.

Playing Together

• Comment on their play

  Talk about what they are doing. You might say "pushing car" or "cuddling teddy". Comment as they are doing it, not afterwards, so the words you use apply to the object or action they are focusing on. Leave pauses so they can respond.

• Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!

  Use plenty of repetition of the games you play and the words you use. Add small changes, for example say "cuddling teddy", then "cuddling dolly" or "jumping teddy".

• Pretend Play

  This is ideal for language development as it's often based on daily routines and uses everyday language that your child will need to understand and use from an early age.

  You could use these examples:

  • Give teddy dinner: If possible use a toy tea set or plastic picnic set and real or pretend food. Talk about what they are doing, for example "teddy's eating" or "(child's name) is feeding teddy a banana". Change your language to the level your child is at, so you could just say "eating", or "teddy's eating", or "teddy's eating a biscuit". These activities are also good for taking turns - "my turn to feed teddy", "your turn".
  • Give dolly a bath and use similar things that your child would use in their bath, such as an empty shampoo bottle, a brush, a towel, bath toys or a toothbrush.
  • Put teddy to bed and change its clothes.

Everyday Chat

Everyday activities are great for learning new words. Make sure your child can see what you are naming so that they can link the word to the object.  

Children need to hear new words many times before they will use them so everyday routines are good for repetition of words. You could try these methods:

• Use describing words

  Use words such as red, crunchy, hard or wet during everyday chat.

  There are lots of doing words you can use during bath time – for example splashing, pouring, washing, blowing, floating, sinking. Remember to say them as you do them and repeat them over and over. 

  When you go to the shop, talk about how things look and feel.

• Comment during play

  Describe what your child is doing during play in short sentences. For example, if your child is playing with a toy farm - you can say “horse eating”, “pig rolling” or “pig all dirty”.

  At mealtimes, name the food they’re eating and things on the table such as plates, knife or fork. Don’t forget the doing words, for example eating, cutting, chopping, sitting.

Joining Words Together

Keep your language simple during everyday routines. Try to keep your language one step ahead of your child’s. Build on what they say by repeating what they have said and adding a word. If they say “juice” you can say “more juice”, “juice please”, or “juice gone”. This shows them what they could start to say next. The examples below might be useful:

• Asking for more

  Use bricks to build a tower, or blow bubbles. Encourage your child to say “more bricks” to get another brick or “more bubbles” to ask you to blow some more. At meal times give them a small amount of food or drink to begin with so they need to ask for more, for example “more cheese” or “more juice”. 

• Hiding games

  • Play hiding games and say "dolly gone", "Thomas gone"
  • Make bubbles in the bath, pop them and say "bubbles gone"
  • Pull out the bath plug and say "water gone"
  • When your child finishes their milk, say "milk gone"

• Action games

  Choose a favourite toy, such as a teddy bear. Make them do different actions, for example jumping, sitting or sleeping.

  Talk about what the teddy is doing in short phrases, such as "teddy is jumping", "teddy is sleeping". Repeat these phrases whenever you can to encourage your child to use them.

  Model simple two-word phrases during everyday activities. At bath time you could use "wash hair" or "wash toes"; when out shopping, use phrases like "push trolley" or "apples in".

  Play action games with people and toys and take turns giving instructions. For example, "teddy dance", "Daddy jump" or "Mummy run".

  When looking at books, talk about what the people or animals are doing and leave pauses to encourage your child to do the same.

   

• Describing words

  Everyday activities like tidying up, meal times or doing the washing are good opportunities to use describing words such as “dirty cups”, “wet plates”, “big cup”, “red shirt” or “two socks”.

Speaking More Than One Language

Reluctant talkers

Children who are reluctant to talk will need lots of help and support to feel confident and happy to communicate with other children and adults. Try not to feel frustrated at your child’s reluctance to speak – they have a genuine anxiety. Ways you can help include:

• Being positive

  Accept all attempts to communicate including pointing, eye contact, smiling or making sounds. Don’t act surprised or praise your child in front of others if they speak as this may feel overwhelming. 

• Making comments

  Direct questions can feel uncomfortable. Rather than asking “What are you painting?” you could say “I wonder what you are painting”. You can fill in the gap if the child does not respond by continuing with “It looks like a ………..” 

• Taking the pressure off talking

  Try activities and games that don’t require any talking. Find ways to make your child feel included, such as letting them turn the pages when reading books. 

  Try gradually introducing new people outside of the family circle into games and situations where there is no pressure on talking.

• Offering clear choices

  Many children who are reluctant to talk, can dislike or have difficulties in making choices. Offer clear choices to them while holding the real objects - for example, “would you like an apple or a banana?”.

  Accept any way your child may make a choice, such as pointing or looking at the object.

• Considering selective mutism

  If your child is not talking and you think it may be selective mutism, please use the link below to find out more information.

  Our service is unable to provide support for this, unless there is an associated speech and language disorder.

  More about selective mutism

Communicating Without Talking

Some children are unable to rely on spoken language to communicate all their needs and thoughts. They will need to use additional strategies or communication aids to help them communicate with the world around them. This is known as Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC). 

Many children use a combination of methods in different situations depending on what suits them best. For some children this will be a short-term solution to support them while their speech is developing. For others AAC will be an important part of their communication throughout their life. 

Find out more about AAC