Helping Teenagers Who Stammer

• Find out how your child feels

  Stammering usually begins between the ages of 3 to 5 years, so it may not be a new concern; however, stammering can sometimes start when children are older.

  Alternatively, it might be something your child experienced when they were younger but you’ve noticed increasing again recently. You may be worried about this but it’s important to find out how your child feels and whether they would like any extra support. Don’t automatically assume that it is a problem for them.

• Choose your words carefully

  It’s important to avoid giving your child the message that there is anything wrong with stammering. This can lead to feelings of shame and can make talking even harder. So when you’re discussing stammering, try to use neutral language. Instead of asking or talking about days when their stammer might be better or worse, good or bad, try to talk about stammering less or more. 

• It's OK to stammer

  Let your child know that there is nothing wrong with the way they speak and it is not something they need to hide, fix or overcome. We know from talking to adults who stammer that their experiences in childhood can continue to affect them when they’re older. As a parent, you have the opportunity to influence the way your child feels about their talking; helping them to be a confident communicator, whether or not they stammer. 

• Speak more slowly

  If you’re a fast talker, this can speed up the pace of conversations and increase pressure on your child. So try to be aware of your own rate of speech and talk to your child in an unhurried way, pausing frequently. Wait a few seconds after your child finishes before you begin to speak. 

• Don't offer advice

  Your own calm, relaxed speech will be far more helpful than any advice such as “slow down”, “think about what you’re saying”, “stop and start again” or “take a deep breath”. While advice like this may be well-meant, it is extremely difficult for children (or adults) to change anything to do with the way they speak. Offering advice like this can also give your child the message that they should not stammer or there is something wrong with the way they talk. 

• Wait

  You might be tempted to finish your child’s sentence or guess what they are trying to say, but this can lead to frustration and is not helpful in the long-term. Instead, just wait patiently for them to finish.  

• Listen carefully

  Try to increase those times that you give your child your undivided attention and are really listening. Focus on what they say, rather than the way they are saying it. Let them know, by what you say and do, that you are listening. Try to show that you are relaxed and accepting of their talking. Any impatience or discomfort that you show will only increase your child’s sense of discomfort. 

• Reduce questions

  Asking questions is a normal part of life – but try to resist asking one after the other. Sometimes it is more helpful to comment on what your child has said and wait. Consider the timing of your questions too. Adults often feel tired after a busy day at work and this is the same for children at the end of the school or college day. So try not to ask them lots of questions but perhaps start a conversation in a less pressured way, such as by mentioning something about your own day. 

• Help build their confidence

  Support your child to develop skills such as problem-solving, positive thinking and independence. If you are concerned about their emotional or mental health, get some support, for example by calling Just One Norfolk’s Emotional Health team on 0300 300 0123.